The spoon theory

If you are my friend and wish to understand what I am dealing with living with TOS-Thoracic Outlet Syndrome, or if you deal with an ongoing pain condition yourself, please take the time to read The Spoon Theory.<--click the link)

She describes in detail what it's like to only have energy and pain tolerance for doing so many things in a day when you live with an ongoing pain condition...that even though "gee, you don't LOOK sick", the truth is if you stopped trying to keep going, you could look sick really fast because you sure feel like crap.

I post this because I have been SO frustrated recently by people's lack of understanding what I'm dealing with. I look fine, but I take pain meds to keep going and still feel crummy every day, it's a struggle.

I don't want to whine about every detail or be a 'downer' just to be taken seriously, but then I get so mad when people don't get how much I am struggling here.

My hands are swollen today. The light throb is always there in my neck, arms, shoulders. I am tired, and I am very ready to get rid of the cervical ribs and heal and get on with life.
(tears)
I just want my life back.

Laughter therapy

Oh man!
I just read a post on a TOS (Thoracic Outlet Syndrome) support group that made me laugh so hard!! Like, I'm STILL wiping the tears off my face...woo!

A woman who just had the same rib resection surgery I am having soon said she explained to someone she had a rib removed, and they said-

"Does that make you a man?!"

(like Adam, the first man, who had the first rib removal ever.)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! OOhhhh!!!! OW!!

Seriously, I am SO going to tell people at church I'm going in for a "sex change operation" now, oh!...it'll be such fun.
I need to work on my delivery of this one though.

I'm still laughing over this...too funny.
oh man.

Randomness

My daughter & I ate dinner at a chineese buffet the other day.
My fortune cookie said-

"Pull the universe inside you.
Make it your own."

I said to my daughter after reading that-
"I feel like I just did!"
~~~
I made a flourless fudgecake yesterday...it IS awesome.
The consistency of cheesecake, thick and rich.
I need to get some whipped cream.
~~~
I've been busy cleaning nooks and crannies, getting ready to be out of commission for a few weeks here the first of April. No, not April Fool's Day!
April 6th to be exact.
Gathering medical records, trying to get in for a second opinion last minute.
Not that I feel I need it, just to be responsible I guess.

I will be SO glad when this surgery is over.
My plan is that my neck will not lock-up on me with a mind of its own anymore.
I will be able to push a grocery cart, drive, pull open doors, lift laundry baskets, vacumn, hug people, and play my guitar without causing my neck, shoulders and arms to throb-throb-throb.
I hope to go back to work. I miss helping other people-alot.
I'm really sick of myself, truth be told.
When this surgery deal x2 is overwith, I'll be ready to move on.

In the meantime, I'm figuring out how to do things left handed, making sure I have button-front shirts to wear as tshirts will not be an option for a while, and a sports bra to step into and pull up(one strap only) since I will not be without and can't hook for a while. TMI, I know.
But this is my life right now, getting the ducks in a row.
I'm fortunate I can do that. Some TOS (Thoracic Outlet Syndrome) patients wind up requiring emergency surgery due to blood clots from arteries getting pinched.
So fun.

Oprah just HAD to have a show on medical mistakes today too. AAHHH!
Just what I needed. My hOney is staying overnight in the hospital with me for sure.

Found a comfy chair to sleep in. I made myself SO sore looking for the right chair.
Because I'm shortish, alot of chairs push my head forward...not good for healing from neck surgery. And trying all the chairs was awful, glad to be done looking!

Now to get the dog washed...ugh.