Dealing with it

Life goes on after diagnosis of TOS.
I've spent so much of the last year learning about TOS, on forums, trying to get a grip on what to ask, what to do to find help for myself.
Sometimes it has been too much.
Too much focusing on myself and my problems.
Too overwhealming to think about this thing that I have no control over that has a mind of its own.

Life goes on, with whatever problems we have to face.
Changes come up in life and you have to find a way to roll with it.

So thats what I'm doing, the best that I can anyway.
A little slower than before, but moving along nonetheless.
Pain pills and prayer are always at my disposal when needed, which is regularly.
I am thankful for both!

Once again

A few not too bad days, light throbbing of the shoulders, back and left arm. Bearable.
Today my neck is locking up, I'm back on muscle relaxers. I feel so incredibly dumpy, tired, and out of it.
The weight gained all residing on my chest is doing my arms, shoulders and back absolutely no favors. The self-esteem is pretty shot today.

What good am I to my family when this pain saps my energy and ability to function so unpredictably?
There is too much to do for me to be out of commission.
Yet here I am, blogging for this brief moment about my reality because this is something I can control, something I can do, something I feel good about contributing.
Even this has it's limits, since the posture required for desk work and being on the computer don't do my neck any favors either.
I nap, reach for a chocolate bar, more coffee, nothing makes me feel any better.
It is what it is, and today it makes me sad.
I pray for God to hold onto me.
"Though I'm faithless, still He (God) remains faithful." II Timothy 2:13
I have found that scripture to be true in the past.
I need it to continue to be true, now more than ever.

and the stubborn streak lives!

I overdid it today, drove, shopped, I'm THROBBING on pain meds now.
I've become such a wimp, it feels good to accomplish something...at least until it hurts so much I have to stop.

Since my last doc appointment I've been pretty discouraged.
Then I heard a lady on tv who had cancer say her doctor told her she didn't have an expiration date stamped on the bottom of her foot.
So, with that in mind, I decided yesterday that my doc can't look at me and tell me what I can not do.

That was yesterday.
Time to get off this blasted computer and go chill...this thing makes my symptoms flare up something fierce.

"Be a professional apple-bobber!"

"...or a soccer ball tester."
"...or a grape stomper/juice maker."

These are some of the ideas I've received after I tell people about my doctors assesment of my employability at my appointment with him today.



When I asked my doc about going back to work and what I had to avoid he said-

"NO doing any; overhead, shoulder level, repetitive arm motion, lifting, or office work using a computer/mouse. No excessive talking on the phone without a headset."

But other than that, I can totally go back to work. (smirk)

So if you have any bright ideas what someone might do to be gainfully employed without using their arms, feel free to suggest!

What I am wondering three months postop...

Tomorrow I will have the chance to ask my surgeon the following questions:

1.Can I expect the pain (I assume nerve) along the underside of my arm to go away eventually? What do I need to do or avoid doing to facilitate that?

2.As far as my left/non-resected side is concerned, should I be concerned about blood clots, nerve damage, muscle atrophy? Is the c-rib bigger on my left side?

3.Why does it hurt in my back like aparing knife is stuck in it with the slightest activity?

4.How long am I going to have to push through the pain to be active? Is the pain from exertion just going to be persistent and I need to accept that or is there hope yet that things can improve?

5.Now that I've been diagnosed with TOS, does that mean I will have it the rest of my life? If so, what do I need to be mindful of not doing that makes TOS worse?


Thats mainly what I'm wondering as far as my TOS symptoms are concerned.

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UPDATE:
The answers I received were not encouraging, at least not to me.
"Give it more time."
"It's perfectly normal."
"Yes you will always have TOS. Avoid repetitive, overhead, lifting."
"Trapezius muscle needs to be worked on with a 'Therea-cane', you have knots in there."
"The longer people wait to have a symptomatic TOS condition resected the longer it takes to heal and bounce back."

Swell.